Have you ever been suddenly asked to attend a wake or funeral and found yourself wondering, "What should I wear?!" When attending such a service, it's important to be respectful and show proper etiquette to the deceased without making any mistakes.

What exactly is the difference between the attire for a wake and a funeral/memorial service? I'm planning to attend after work, but what should I wear? This time, the formal wear specialists on the 5th floor of Isetan Shinjuku Store, Men's Building will explain the appropriate attire and etiquette for attending wakes and funerals/memorial services so that you won't panic when the time comes.

I. When should I wear it? How to choose the right mourning attire.

There are three types of mourning attire: formal mourning attire, semi-formal mourning attire, and informal mourning attire. The appropriate attire varies depending on one's position and the situation.

From left to right: Formal mourning attire (morning coat), semi-formal mourning attire (black suit), informal mourning attire (dark suit)

"Formal mourning attire," also known as a morning coat, is the most formal and highly dignified attire, primarily worn by the chief mourner or, in the case of attending a funeral, by those in a special position, such as a company funeral. "Semi-formal mourning attire" is attire similar to formal mourning attire and is a general type of mourning attire that can be worn in various situations. In cases where it is difficult to wear "semi-formal mourning attire," a more casual "informal mourning attire" that is closer to everyday wear may be worn. "Semi-formal mourning attire" is called a black suit, and "informal mourning attire" is called a dark suit.

Now, let's take a closer look at black suits and dark suits, which are the typical attire for attending such events. We'll explain the differences between them, as well as the proper etiquette and points to keep in mind when actually wearing them.

II. What to wear when attending a wake and funeral/memorial service?

Attire for a wake

In the past, dark suits were the norm for wakes to avoid giving the impression that one had anticipated the death. However, nowadays, there is often more time between death and the wake, so it's becoming more common to see people attending in black suits. Of course, dark suits are still worn, so it's best to dress according to the situation.

Attire for a funeral/memorial service

While black suits are generally expected attire for funeral attendees, some may choose to wear dark suits depending on the situation, such as to match the attire of other attendees.

III. Characteristics of Black Suits and Dark Suits, and Examples of What Not to Do

Here, we will explain the characteristics of each suit.

1. Black suit

This is a formal, plain black suit. Avoid glossy materials like silk and choose something elegant. A deep black fabric with a rich dye treatment is recommended. The jacket can be either single-breasted or double-breasted. The trousers must have a single hem if made from the same fabric. If wearing a vest underneath, it is generally made from the same fabric; otherwise, choose a plain black one.

2. Dark Suit

A plain suit in a dark color, almost black. For attending a funeral after work, a dark suit and plain white shirt during the day, and changing into a mourning tie before the funeral, will make it "semi-formal mourning attire."

IV. Key items to wear with a suit. What's the right answer?

We will explain the basic items that go well with each type of suit.

3. Shirt

For both black and dark suits, the standard shirt to wear with mourning attire is a plain white regular collar shirt with no sheen. Formal shirts with concealed buttons are acceptable, but plain white shirts are also suitable for business wear. For black suits, both single and double cuffs are acceptable; for dark suits, single cuffs are preferable.


[NG] Avoid wing collars (left image) and button-down shirts (right image) as they can look too casual.

4. Cufflinks

5. Necktie

6. Shoes

7. Socks

10. Court

V. What other items should I bring?

Besides clothing, there are various other items you should bring. Make sure to check them beforehand so you don't panic in a sudden situation.

 

VI. What should I do in these situations? Frequently Asked Questions

Here are some frequently asked questions regarding mourning attire.

Q: Are pocket squares and accessories allowed?
A: Accessories such as tie clips and pocket squares are not required. If you wear a watch, choose a simple one with a black leather strap and a thin dial.

Q: I will be attending a memorial service. What should I wear?
A: Up to the third anniversary of death, the memorial service is held relatively soon after the person's passing, so you should wear a black suit. From the seventh anniversary onwards, a dark suit is also acceptable.

Q: The invitation from the chief mourner specified "casual attire." What should I wear?
A: "Casual attire" refers to a dark suit. This is sometimes specified for wakes, funerals/memorial services, and other memorial services. If you receive a notice specifying casual attire, or if you want to wear a black suit to a memorial service after the seventh anniversary of death, you should check the host's attire beforehand and be careful not to wear something more formal than theirs.

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V. "Gift-giving customs and manners of the Mitsukoshi Isetan Group"

This page provides a summary of customs and manners for various life events such as weddings, births, moving into a new home, and celebrations of longevity, as well as for return gifts, thank-you gifts for gifts received, and funerals and wakes .