A marriage proposal is a once-in-a-lifetime event, a mix of anticipation and nervousness. However, many people who have proposed end up with the thought, "I really wanted to do/be proposed to in this way." Taking this reality of marriage proposals in Japan into account, the jewelry brand TASAKI and Shikaketegami have developed the "Surprise Proposal Package." Tomomi Hamamoto, the creator of Shikaketegami, and three employees from Mitsukoshi Isetan discussed the ideals and realities of marriage proposals.

• The four people who participated in this roundtable discussion

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  Tomoki Hamamoto ( Works at Wunderman Thompson Tokyo, a foreign-owned advertising agency)
  

  He serves as the business head and creative director for "Shikaketegami." He is currently a father of one child, married for 11 years.
  
  
  

  
  

  Emiri Mukai (Mitsukoshi Isetan employee)

  I'm in charge of content planning and design for the Mitsukoshi Isetan online store. I've been married for two years. I love both giving and receiving surprises. Although I don't think it'll ever happen again, my longing for a marriage proposal never fades.
  
  
  

  
  

  Hirofumi Hara (Mitsukoshi Isetan employee)

  She is in charge of kitchen items and Japanese and Western tableware at Isetan Shinjuku store. In 2015, she gained experience as a wedding planner at Plan.Do.See Co., Ltd., where she was seconded. She says, "I want marriage (proposal) to be a beginning, not a peak."
  
  
  

  
  

  Kei Endo (Mitsukoshi Isetan employee)

  He is in charge of content planning and editing for the Mitsukoshi Isetan online store, ISETAN MEN'S net. He is 27 years old and unmarried, and says, "Although I long for marriage, this is the first time I've thought about my ideal marriage proposal."
  

Those who have proposed, those who have been proposed to, and those who are planning to propose share their ideals and realities.

Mukai: About a year into our relationship, he proposed to me while we were on a trip abroad. We were walking along the beach when he suddenly said, "Let's get married." Of course I was happy, but deep down I was thinking, "This might be a once-in-a-lifetime experience, and that's all he said?" (laughs)


Hara: Huh?! What was missing?!

Mukai: It might be greedy, but I thought, "Just words?!" To be honest, I wanted to experience a typical surprise, like opening the hotel room door to find a bouquet of roses and receiving a ring (laughs).

Hamamoto: What Mukai-san said hits close to home for me! To put it bluntly, I made a huge mistake. At first, I had planned a surprise and was determined to pull it off perfectly. But things started to go wrong when I began researching rings. I went to a jewelry shop by myself, but first of all, I didn't know the size.


Hamamoto: Furthermore, when I actually tried them on, I realized that even the same ring looked different depending on the size of her hand and the shape of her fingers. I gradually lost confidence, wondering, "Can I really choose something that suits her?" So in the end, I decided not to prepare a ring. Then I fell into the trap of thinking, "The more elaborate I make the proposal scene, the more disappointed I might be if there's no ring," and I didn't know what to do. In the end, I proposed to her at home with just words. By the way, my wife has no idea about this struggle.

Hara: I haven't proposed yet, but after hearing Hamamoto's story, I thought, "Home is a good option!" I feel like it wouldn't be like me to try to act cool and formal in front of her, and I'd rather have a proposal that makes her say, "That's so like you," than one that makes her think, "You tried so hard."

Endo: I've always dreamed of a "proposal while traveling" like Mukai's. I think each couple has their own unique feelings about a proposal depending on the relationship they've built up so far, so I believe that as long as the feelings are conveyed, that's all that matters. That being said, it would still be nice to have something tangible to remember. I really dream of the "pop" sound of opening a jewelry box. It doesn't have to be a ring, a necklace or something would be fine too.


Mukai: Surprising your partner with a ring is wonderful, but there's also the risk of it going wrong, isn't there? After all, you want something you really like.

Endo: That's right! Since it's something you wear all the time, I'd like to choose a ring together with my partner too...

Hara: It's an item that men often feel anxious about, wondering, "Will she really be happy with it?" I also want to say, "Let's go choose one together."


Hamamoto: Men understand women's expectations, you know (laughs). It's probably a once-in-a-lifetime moment, so they want to do it properly and make their partner happy. But actually, there's data showing that about 40% of men say they'll give the ring after the proposal. The number one place to propose is apparently "at home."

Endo: I had this image of them opening ring boxes in restaurants in TV dramas and such, so this is surprising. It's interesting to see the numbers for the first time.

Hamamoto: But most men don't necessarily think that "home is the best place" for a proposal, nor do they lack the desire for a surprise. We Japanese aren't very used to expressing our affection in front of others, are we? We tend to get embarrassed and avoid being seen or drawing attention. I think this is why home is such a common place for proposals.

Hara: (Nodding deeply) I totally understand. We don't have that kind of culture, do we?

TASAKI and "Shikaketegami" make your ideal marriage proposal a reality.

Hamamoto: Based on the Japanese way of proposing, we created this "Surprise Proposal Package," but first, let me explain what a "Shikaketegami" is.

Endo: I found out about it through a celebrity's social media.

Mukai: Your husband gave it to you for your birthday, right?

Hamamoto: That's right. The concept of "Shikaketegami" is "a love letter for responsible adults." It's a product that allows you to express feelings of gratitude and affection that you might be too shy to convey normally, by turning them into a one-of-a-kind picture book and delivering it to someone special.


Endo: That's wonderful! It's true, the closer you are to someone, the more embarrassed you feel and the harder it is to express your gratitude to them face-to-face.

Mukai: It might be a good gift to send to my parents.

Hamamoto: Personally, the reason I created "Shikaketegami" was because I wanted to express my gratitude to my wife after she gave birth.

Hara: How did that connect to this "Surprise Proposal Package"?

Hamamoto: The trigger was when we released "Shikaketegami" and learned that about half of our unmarried users were using it for marriage proposals.

Endo: Half of them!

Hamamoto: When I thought about why this was the case, I realized from my own experience that there are two hurdles to proposing. One is the hurdle of choosing the ring. And the other is the hurdle of the presentation. I think that Shikaketegami was a particularly good solution to the latter, which is why its use for proposals has increased.


Hara: The idea of "giving someone a picture book" has the potential to be a surprise that can be done anywhere, right?

Hamamoto: But I felt that this was just a workaround that worked, and that there must be a better way. As I thought about it, I realized that there wasn't a surprise proposal that suited the Japanese mentality of "shyness."

Mukai: That's true. When you think of a surprise proposal, you imagine kneeling down in front of everyone and handing over a ring...


Hamamoto: We wanted to create a new Japanese-style surprise proposal. We thought about what a rational way could be to exceed women's expectations while also solving men's worries. And when we reconsidered what women's expectations are, we realized that diamonds are an icon of proposals and are important.

Endo: I think most women have the impression that a marriage proposal equals a diamond.

Hamamoto: So, I thought that if we collaborated with Tasaki, we could go beyond just selling "things" like picture books and rings and create the "experience" of a marriage proposal itself. By making the diamonds loose (stones that have been cut and polished from their rough state) and pairing them with a picture book, there's an element of surprise, and there's also the joy of creating your own unique ring from a loose stone.


Hara: When it comes to rings, women want something they like, but they also want a surprise, right? (laughs)

Hamamoto: That's right (laughs). We wanted to overcome the hurdle of choosing a ring while also not making the man feel like he's overreaching in terms of the presentation. We came up with the 'Surprise Proposal Package' as a new Japanese-style surprise proposal that encompasses both the element of surprise for the woman and the practicality for the man.

Hara: I see. Up until now, saying "Let's choose the ring together" meant giving up on the surprise aspect in a way, but now it's possible to make that happen.

Is it really a surprise? Let's experience it for ourselves.

Hamamoto: Now, you'll get to experience the whole process of a surprise marriage proposal. Endo, would you mind being my partner for a moment?

Endo: Yes. (blushes)

Hamamoto: On the day of the proposal, I give her a completely blank white box, and when she opens the lid, a picture book appears in which the two of us are the main characters.

Endo: As I continued reading, I started to remember past events. My emotions gradually began to build.

Hamamoto: The last page contains the proposal. Make sure to say it out loud. Then, the man should immediately guide her to "open" the inner lid.

Endo: Wow! A loose diamond! The box had a double-layered structure!

Hamamoto: Next, we'll use the tailoring voucher to have a ring made at the TASAKI store in Isetan Shinjuku.
...Mr. Endo, what did you think of it after actually experiencing it?

Endo: First of all, there was the surprise of opening the elegant box and finding a picture book inside, and then the joy of imagining that the faces in the illustrations resembled us.


Endo: When I picked up the picture book, I didn't think there was anything underneath, so the words "Open it" made my heart race. Reading the picture book warmed my heart, and then the second step, the loose diamond, really made the proposal feel real.

Mukai: What kind of story is in the picture book?

Hamamoto: The text is created by combining pre-written phrases and selected phrases. The last page can be filled with a completely original message, so express your honest feelings! "Shikaketegami" is completed on the website. Choose your favorite style of illustration, and create the face by combining parts like an avatar.


Hara: I like how the man can be the one to set it up by saying, "Open it and see."

Hamamoto: That's right. Women cherish the story behind what steps a man took to propose. How well they can feel that is important. So men, please be the ones to plan it!

Endo: It's also fun to have a ring made just for you from a loose diamond!

Mukai: We can go and pick it up together when it's finished. It's fun twice over, isn't it?

Endo: And what's more, you can experience the coveted "pop" here!


Hara: Many men can relate to the embarrassment of proposing. This "Surprise Proposal Package" resolves those worries, allowing for a down-to-earth surprise proposal without having to pretend to be someone you're not. More than whether the proposal is perfect or not, I hope that this will be the starting point for the couple's lives to become even richer.


Hamamoto: That's a good point...!

Mukai: That's true, what's important isn't how extravagant it is, but how much thought went into it. A book is something you can keep as a memento, so it's really nice, and reading it when the relationship is wavering could help you return to the beginning. I may never experience a marriage proposal again, but I still have a chance to receive a "shikaketegami" (a type of proposal letter)!


The "Surprise Proposal Package" from TASAKI and Shikaketegami was created with the Japanese mentality of "shyness" in mind. It's a product that could only have been created by Mr. Hamamoto, who has experienced proposing himself and understands how difficult it can be. We hope that this once-in-a-lifetime day will become an irreplaceable day that will always be remembered and light up the hearts of the two of you.

1. [ Process from purchase to tailoring ]

2. Step 1. [Selection] Choose and purchase a loose diamond at the Isetan Shinjuku Main Building 1st Floor Accessories/TASAKI or 4th Floor Jewelry/TASAKI. A special white case will be provided.
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   Step 2. [Create] Create and purchase a picture book with a marriage proposal message on the Shikaketegami website .
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   Step 3. [Combine] Place the picture book and loose diamond received by delivery into the special white case.
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   Step 4. [Give it] It's finally time for the proposal! Hand the box to your partner. It's just a plain white box with no logo or anything. They won't know what's inside.
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   Step 5. [Open] When you open the lid, you'll find a "trick letter" featuring the two of you as the main characters!
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   Step 6. [Communicate] As you read through the trick letter, you'll find a marriage proposal at the end...
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   Step 7. [Surprise them!] The giver should guide the recipient to "try opening" the tab at the bottom of the box that contained the "Shikake Tegami" (surprise letter). When they pull up the tab, they'll find a loose diamond from TASAKI!
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   Step 8. [Having it made] The engagement ring can be made at a later date at Isetan Shinjuku Main Building 1F Accessories/TASAKI or Main Building 4F Jewelry/TASAKI.
   

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TASAKI and Shikaketegami propose a new form of marriage proposal! "Surprise Proposal Package"

*For ring setting, please visit the Isetan Shinjuku Main Building 1F Accessories/TASAKI or 4F Jewelry/TASAKI store where you purchased the loose diamond.
*The only design available for customization is the PIACERE Solitaire Ring.
*We can also create rings in designs other than the PIACERE Solitaire Ring, but additional charges may apply.
* "Shikake Tegami" is currently only available in a format intended for men to send to women.

Text: Narumi Sasaki
Photograph: Natsuko Okada